The life of a spiderbot, what joys it entails... they're quite right when they say ignorance is bliss. I'm blissfully ignorant, and quite happy with it! Who 'they' are, I have no idea, not that it matters t'me anyway. Hell, I'm just a small, insignificant, explosive little AI, creeping around the place on eight legs... at least, when I ain't hitching a ride on some bot's shoulder, like Slipstream here. Nice gal.

Slip's the one I ride with most, partly 'cause she's the one I "belong" to, but mainly 'cause she's one of the few bots in the place that doesn't try to squash, smash or otherwise squishify me on sight. What most everyone has against a cute, adorably lovable little spiderbot like me, I dunno. Can't be the fact that I tend to drop from the ceiling onto their heads, or occasionally give them a tiny friendly electric shock... what's the harm in a little zap?

Speaking of bots that try to squishify me... there's one of 'em now! Lightning, or something like that. This little memory chip of mine ain't up to remembering the name of -every- bot around, not with all the data I have stored on how t'get around the Freedom through its multitude of crawl spaces, ventilation systems and whatnot... useful data, that stuff.

Anyway, that Lightning guy's left now. Just as well, he's always trying to step on me. By accident, he claims, says he doesn't see me down there when I'm on the floor... feh. If y'don't wanna get zapped, y'shouldn't leave your feet lying around the place, simple. Should I go and zap him some now? Hmmm... nah, later. When he's least expecting it, so I can get away without him trying to rip my eight little legs off and cram them up some bodily orifice that I don't actually have. Hehehe.

So, now what're we up to, Slippy gal? Of course, to her, it just sounds like a bunch of beeps and chirps and stuff, but I swear, sometimes she understands me... creepy. Okay, we're in the sim rooms... and eek, here comes the hand! Not the hand, not the hand! I ain't gonna let ya stick me in that damned 'spiderbot compartment' of yours! It's boring in there! Not to mention dark and boring and cramped and boring and did I mention boring? Boring!

Dodge, scuttle, leap, scuttle, get away from the hand, climb the wall, and beep something rather rude at Slip. Of course, she tells me to watch my language... go figure. Ah well, looks like she's loading up a flight sim... no need for me to hang around any longer. Over to the ever-handy ventilation ducts, and away we go!

Now, if I were a bot with more processing power than I have, I'd prob'ly be humming some song at the moment, la di da. Slip's always humming to herself, and I don't think I've heard her repeat the same tune once yet... amazing. Anyway, what to do now... even a spiderbot gets bored. I could try and find Diablo... there's another of the few bots who don't try to squishify me. In fact, he's the one that Scarab hangs with, Scarab being another spiderbot who I beat up occasionally. Not that you'd hear Scarab admit that, hehe.

Crawl out of the ventilation and scuttle upside down along the ceiling... y'get an interesting view from up here. All upside-downiness. Lessee if I can find Diablo... ooh! Even better! One of my favourite people to "drop in" on... second only to that Splitwit dude, who screams like a girly little femmebot whenever he sees me. Bwahaha, that's always amusing.

If I had a faceplate, I'd be grinning evilly right about now. Okay, this'll require some perfect timing... of course, I've had plenty of practice at this. Release grip on ceiling... now! Spin around so legs are pointing in the right direction, drop down, and say a nice friendly eight-legged hello to Waitstate's face!

Dance for me, botty! Hehehe, I love being a spiderbot... now, to make my escape!